Time Travel, Pickling, Decay….

The Stuff:

3 1/2 C White Vinegar

1 1/2 C Red Wine Vinegar(I had some family wine that went sour)

1/2 C Pickling Salt

Well, I came to realize that the Dudes and I are severely addicted to pickles, and pickled veggie items in general. My problem occurred as I read down the ingredient list…. It was looking good until I came across that cursed yellow-5(if you grew up with me in the Motherland you would know of my deep hatred for yellow-5).

In the beginning Cucumbers never really prospered here at the Robot Farm, however this year I had a lot more sunlight hitting the soil due to a neighbors Black Walnut Tree being cut down and sent to the ole furniture factory. I’ll try one last time for a good crop of cukes.

Off to the side of the main garden plot situated against the fence, I let loose the seeds, I care for them, I nurture them, I watch them grow, I walk out the other morning and I am overwhelmed at how many little tiny Cukes I created. They looked like little fat fingers belonging to the aliens from that Television show V…

Speaking of Aliens from television, this whole idea of pickling started my mind down the path of time travel. With pickling you are placing the inevitable metabolic decomposition of our treasured summer crops on hold so as to suspend them in time, with added amazing flavor. It’s like filming a rectangle around a story, and making it timeless.

Well anyway, being caught at unawares I ran down to Grammy’s and scored a bunch of Pickling Salt and Vinegar. I went home, the house was quiet, the kitchen was mine, the dog is looking at me weird…

This is what I did –

For the Brine I begin by bringing to a boil the Vinegar, Red Wine Vinegar, and Salt. While that gets up to temp, I do a basic sanitization of the mason jars and lids by boiling everything for at least 8 mins.

Whatever to pickle is up to you! I did of course pickle the Cukes with this little set up:

Into the jars go…

Yellow Onion tt. (quartered)

2 Cloves Garlic

5 All Spice

1 Tbsp Pickling Spice(Mustard, Coriander, Cassia, Ginger, Peppers, Cloves, Bay Leaves)

Dill(stems, flowers, seeds) tt.

Fill up the jars leaving 1/4″ for head room, seal with the lids and collars, wait for the pop, and store for that future!

Thanks for listening!

Posted in North Coast Robot Farm | Leave a comment

Hotel Living – Pie


2/3 C – Chick-Pea Flour

1/3 Tsp – Salt

1/2 C – Water

1/2 Tsp – Fresh Rosemary

1/2 Tsp – Fresh Basil

Extra Virgin Olive Oil – tt

It’s that long half light hallway again, the stale glow of the flourescents beats down my memory of fresh air. I have just travelled too many miles, and my lungs are filled with the stagnant stench of my counterparts aboard the jet-plane that brought me to this place. Food, it is nowhere to be found, their is no kitchen, their seems to be no air, where am I? I have forgotten. Oh yea, I’m at the hotel.

So it’s cool when you check into a hotel with, say your family or something. Everything is so bright, so happy, so damn cheerful. The entire clan madly jumping up and down on the beds until one of them bangs their head upon the wall, upsetting your unsuspecting neighbor whilst angering the folks at the front desk. But alas, I am not with the family. I find myself alone, starring at a wall, I am upset because the room next door is filled with over hyper children jumping on the bed, banging their heads against the wall. I call the folks at the front desk, angering them with my problem. I remind myself that I have no food, not even a delivery option. I feel grumpy. I feel hungry. Hungry, grumpy, mad!

The wall starts starring back at me, my eyes are heavy, each blink is longer than the last. With the last shutter on my eye lid, the tacky wall paper threw my mind into the realm of Pie…Pizza Pie! I sleep, I dream, I wake up, I do some work, a week passes and I am back home in the kitchen, This is what I did.

Take the heat box to 425F, and while that is happening sift the chick-pea flour into you favorite mixing bowl, dash in the salt. Starting with just 1/4 cup of water, slowly introduce the two – whisking together until a nice paste has been formed. Whisk in the rest of the water and let it hang out for 30 mins. [room temp.]

Stir in the rosemary and basil.

In my iron skillet I heat the olive oil over a high flame, and drizzle the top with a little olive oil. Cook over this heat for around 3-4 minutes.

With this particular measurement of flour/water ratio I was hanging out with two crusts – 9″ or so. After that I believe the choice of toppings is yours to deal with. 18-20 minutes in the oven will get ya what you want.

Thanks for listening!


Posted in North Coast Robot Farm | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Banana Bread – sans the gluten


4 Bananas(mashed)

4 Eggs

1 C. Sugar

4 Apples(cored/peeled)

11/2 tsp. Vanilla Extract

2 C. Chick Pea Flour

1 tsp. Baking Soda

1/2 tsp. Sea Salt

1/3 C. melted Coconut Oil

Water(a few cups)

Olive Oil tt(for greasing the pans)

Motion Picture crews move and breath like a collective monster, dashing forward in an explosive manner ever closer to the final goal of having told a story. Ever closer to that cash money.

I’ve come to recognize a great thing about the Motion Picture industry – though it may not seem like it, the industry has become a collection of non-specialized folks, folks who cannot see living as “this is what I know, this is what I do, what do you do”. I once met a fella who was employed as a Best Boy electrician. Over some snacks at the beloved craft service table we happened upon a life changing talk regarding turtles. This guy was so informative about turtles it made scientists of the same title seem like jerks. It made me wonder how could one person(Mr. Turtle Scientist), who stares at one thing(the turtle), begin to see and to comprehend how that one thing(the turtle) is connected to all other things(everything else). Turtles were not the only thing on this cats mind, later in the day back at “crafty”, this fella and I start talking about fermentation and of course beer comes to mind, but no not this guy, he starts talking about his backyard project, Kimchi, he begins telling me of spicy fermented cabbage, of clay pots, and he tells of a fermentation process in which buried cabbage turns into something fantastic. This guy here, I said to myself, this guy is a true artist-scientist, the type of person that does not come from the University… This guy works in the Motion Picture industry, a place where degenerate folks such as myself can find honest employment. Well I was not equipped just yet for a Kimchi undertaking, but I did have rotting bananas.

I started by bringing a few cups of water to a boil. In the mean time I put the apples through a rough chop, get the oven to 350, and whisk the eggs in a brisk fashion.

Once the water is at a rough boil add the apples and drop the heat to a strong simmer, let it go for about 15 minutes or until it is easily smashed with a good ole wooden spoon.

Upon the smashing of the apples, smash the bananas, add the vanilla, eggs, sugar and mix it all together.

Into the mix fold in the flour, salt and baking soda. Mix it all up until the glob is moist then fold in the coconut oil, keep mixing until the oil is blended nicely.

Grease up those pans and introduce that globby mix to its new form…

Keep it in the heat for at least 45 minutes then proceed with toothpick testing.

To serve, well do what you want… It’s gonna be rad!

Thanks for listening.

Posted in North Coast Robot Farm | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Time Travel – Tacos – 2nd Breakfast…


A few Eggs(how many you gonna eat??)

Corn Tortilla(Still keeping a gluten free kitchen)

1 Yellow Onion(diced)

handful of chopped Mushrooms(any variety)

Extra Virgin Olive Oil tt.

Salt/Pepper tt.

Feta(or whatever) tt.

It was an early start today, a few hours before old kid Story had to get up and prepare for school I organize my day – settle a bunch of 30 day billing cycles – I watch a little news – I drink a lot of coffee – It’s time – I battle the old kid in a [I’m going to resist the whole way down the stairs because I act like a teenager even though I’m only 6] ritualistic kinda way. I tame the savage anti wake-up beast with a promise of oatmeal, a little brown sugar quenched with almond milk, crown with cinnamon. Well the recipe is… Bah never mind that, the recipe is what it is…. The important part is that today, like most days of my life, I thought of Time Travel, and when I think of Time Travel, I think of Tacos. Any kind of Tacos!!!!

It all started after old kid Story and I were walking toward the building where he attends school. It is located southwest of our house so we walk toward the south first, then the final steps to the west gets the boy safely to the doors of the building where he attends school. So walking in a southerly direction at around 8:17am in February here at the North Coast, we were bombarded from reflected light skimming off the wet asphalt, (it looked like a super sexy car commercial). Hanging low in the backdrop of time and space, the Sun radiated piercing rays through the skeletal arms of the leafless branch scene with a sad pretense that it could just disappear forever but it hangs on for fear that it might miss the show. It is here that I let my mind wander to Time Travel and the mystery contained within. It is here that I realized it I’d forgotten my camera at home…

It didn’t matter. Story and I both noted the blinding qualities of the light show, and we were viewing with our human eyes, not some technological device with a lens gaff taped to the front… Well, after having a good little chat about the different ways in which light behaves at different times of the day under different atmospheric conditions, in a stark contradiction to its one known boundary, Time. I safely accomplished my goal of accompanying Story to school. I wished the boy a fantastic day, and continued on my way weaving in and out of neighborhood streets back to the house, back to the kitchen.

Being all geeked out, and hopped up on Time Travel goofballs, I did what any cinematographer should do, what any man should do, hell I did what any Human should do, I made Tacos!

Sebi[the new kid] was hungary, and I didn’t really have any Taco Ingredients. But alas, my rockin wife Colee handed me a few corn tortillas as she blazed through the door, ready to tackle her day.

Straight away, in some extra virgin olive oil I went for a quick saute of an onion mushroom combo

In my cast iron skillet bring some extra virgin olive oil to a medium heat and get to browning those tortillas, as they come out of the pan, set aside to await Taco construction

Scramble the eggs, and introduce them to the onion mushroom combo, heat it up/flip it around

To Plate: I bet you folks can figure it out, just sprinkle with feta(or whatever cheese is rad to you) Ahhh, 2nd breakfast! Better than the first.

Thanks for listening.

Posted in North Coast Robot Farm | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment


Nothing tt.

You know, sometimes I’m not hungry. Not often but it does happen. Sometimes I’m sick of hearing about the left coast, the right coast. Recently overhearing some camera cats, who just got outta some educational facility, running their jabber jaws at the awesomeness of the left coast and all the jobs they have lined up. Happily ever after…

Well for those that don’t know, I reside with my family on the North Coast, that is the coast of Lake Erie in North West Pennsylvania. I got a lot of guff from industry peers about relocating to such a desolate place, a place where Motion Picture Industry jobs are far and few between. Also for those that don’t know, I am exceptional at doing things the wrong way – the difficult way – going against the grain so to speak. I am reminded of my second year of living North Coast life, it was July 7th, a day before my birth day. I received a phone call from a cinematographer whom I have assisted before in the past. He was now a local 600 member(the cinematographers super expensive union). He was looking for an operator to fly out to Northern California the next day. Whoa, this was big, I mean really big. There was a hitch though. Sebastian, the new kid was due to make his appearance on Earth any day. Well to make a simple story short, I turned down the job and was able to   welcome Sebastian to Earth properly. It went something like this – “welcome to Earth Sebastian, don’t take it seriously.” This was a decision that I have never regretted.

Well a few years pass and in an attempt to reconnect with the cinematographer who offered the operating job, I was told, of course that the slot had been taken(I expected that but you never know), also, I was told to buy film with a high ISO rating, because the only thing I’ll be shooting in North West Pennsylvania are barn owls. Hmmm, frustrating to say the least. Oh well, I’m here on the North Coast, and I feel more in tune to cinematography than I ever have. I have never been very receptive to being told what to do, and that goes for industry as well. It is absurd to say that one should be here or to be there to be a part of something. Still not hungry…

Thanks for listening.

Posted in North Coast Robot Farm | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Haddock Curry – come on over, check it out!

1 lb. Haddock

1 Yellow Onion(sliced wedges)

2 tbsp. fresh Ginger(fine dice)

4 Garlic cloves

2 c. Chicken Stock(if you got the bones make it yourself)

1/2 c. Coconut milk

2 handfuls fresh Spinach

8 oz. Rice Noodles

Extra Virgin Olive Oil(first cold press) tt.

Turmeric-Coriander-Cumin mix tt.

Salt/Pepper tt.

Snow! It finally snowed! That means I was out with the old kid(Story Porter), exploring the untold world of Hoth. I was Green 1, he played the part of Red 1, together we were scouting an abandoned post, a place that once use to be Red 1’s castle. Yeah, so this is rad, turning Earth into some other planet with my kids(the new kid Sebastian was inside on this particularly bone chilling day). We hiked a few miles around town, accomplishing many life threatening tasks, whilst checking out the wicked blustering wintry scenery.

We had our snow gear on, our staffs, utility belts, our gear for survival… It reminded me of my work as a camera assistant, and that my main drive in life was to perform work that made me wear a cool utility belt, like all the folks in that galaxy far, far, super far away.

Well, we were cold and It was time to head in for a lunch, and the way below freezing temps. throw the mind in the direction of soup, or something akin. This was a tricky one. The pantry and refrigerated compartment of the household was waiting for one of those net 30’s to come on home to get restocked. But I had a trick up my sleeve, one that involved knowing a guy, who knew a fish monger. A few sweet deals were made and I am the proud owner of a bunch of Haddock! Oh what to do… Cold… want soup… have fish… let’s make a curry… OK! I have coconut milk, and I have some turmeric, coriander, and cumin. This will work, trust me! I say to myself. (The same thing I say to a lot of Director/Producer types). I only have a few select items in my pantry/light kit…

With the Haddock, I let it swim with an olive oil, salt/pepper mix for about an hour while I wrestle with the kids and try to avoid the hurling ball of death that is Sebastian’s super painful metal toy dump truck. After I’m out numbered I escape to my sanctuary – The Kitchen. I prep the nuances of the ingredients.

Bring the water to a boil(this is for the rice noodles). Take the Haddock to the freezer for about 10 mins. (to firm up the filets). In my stainless steel 8 quart pot I heat some olive oil, toss in the onion/garlic/ginger mix, let it go over a med/high heat until that awesome brown happens.

Take the rice noodles to a large bowl, and pour them over with the boiling water-set aside.

To the pot crank the heat to high, once the onion/garlic/ginger mix is on the verge of burning add the chicken stock and coconut milk, curry mix tt, salt/pepper tt, bring it to a boil(all the while scraping the flavor hideouts at the bottom of the pot).

Chop the Haddock to a rough assortment(set aside)

Strain the noodles.

Once the broth reaches a roaring boil cut the heat, add the haddock, throw in the spinach, stir and cover, let stand for 15 mins.

Serve over a bed of rice noodles.

Thanks for listening.

Posted in North Coast Robot Farm | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Could you please pass the water…

Water tt

Whoa, I’ve been trippin out over the angle of light thats happening this time of year. Whatever it reflects off of looks absolutely magnificent. It could be a little cobweb that has grown quit comfortable upon a dried rose or perhaps

the mothballed dairy factory ensnared with a wicked mid-winter 9AM backlight. Observing these occurences of situations is to me the basis of cinematography.

It is like water, the essence of all that lives. I envy water and its disrespect and mockery of form. I often think of water and cinematography to be of the same kin, of the same attitude. Water moves, water goes. Humans move, humans go. Cinematographers move, cinematographers photograph everything they see on the way and store it within the hard drive of mind.

Now they make flavored water… water with extra stuff. Red water, green water, blue water, pee water. It’s become similar to a Chuck Jones cartoon. Like the one where that little fuzzy fella drinks from the brightly colored concoction, growing to an enormous size while causing a ruckus amongst his cartoon brethren. It’s like all these different little hipsters with all their different colored cameras. “Hey look, Johnny Blue Ribbon has got the new camera….”

If I could be anything, I would be water, I would be cinematography.

Oh yeah, if you see the NRA this weekend, tell em, guns don’t shoot people, cameras shoot people.

Thanks for listening.

Posted in North Coast Robot Farm | Leave a comment